How to overcome the struggle of showing personal life online
When I first started with social media, I was worried about how people would react if I posted something personal or goofy.
I started my online presence as a fashion blogger, and at the beginning, I kept it very simple. I shared outfits online, and in my blogs, I only talked about the clothes or the brands I wore. I never shared anything personal that would have allowed my readers to connect with me on a deeper level.
Over time, I got better at it, and if you see my posts or stories online, you'll notice they are way more personal than before.
But, the fear of being judged is a big reason why so many people don't want to be personal online. But what if there were no consequences? What if being yourself was all that mattered? Would you still be afraid? In this article, I want to share my experiences and what you can do to become more comfortable sharing personal information online.
#1 Why does showing up online scare you?
Many of us fear being judged by others. How many times did you not stand up for yourself (at work, in a meeting, or talking to friends) and voice your opinion? Probably a good amount of times. Speaking up and standing up for what you believe in is sometimes scary, and we fear that by doing this, we push away people or are being liked less. There is no quick fix or magic trick that will make this feeling go away, it takes you to change it. It is your mindset that needs to get stronger.
In order to get your mindset stronger and care less about other people's opinions, start with self-reflection. Self-reflection is the first step to understanding why you do and don't do certain things. Take your time to figure out why showing up online and sharing personal stuff scares you.
Write down all your feelings and thoughts about why you hesitate to open up online. Now that you've compiled a big 'o list go through each item, and come up with a worst-case scenario. For example, I hesitated to show up online because I thought that no one would be interested in my day-to-day life anyways, so I thought, why even share it in the first place? But what's the worst-case scenario that can happen, people keep scrolling or unfollowing me? Well, who cares.
Also, create a list of items that you would not share online and the reason why. For example, as I said before, I don't show up online when I am sad or in a bad mood. I don't want to drag down people, although I know we sometimes have bad days. I am also not talking about my medical history online either (Dr. appointments or hospital visits). These things are just too private for me. If you create two lists and differentiate between the content you would post, you are just too scared, and the content you wouldn't post under no circumstance will give you a great starting point.
#2 Why is being personal important?
The amount of personal stuff you share online is solely up to you. If you don't want to talk about your spouse, kids, or pets, that's totally okay.
Even to this point, I don't share everything on social media, and I am not planning on doing it either in the future. I am just not super comfortable with that, even though many other people do it. You have to be comfortable with the information you want to share with your followers.
A day has 24 hours, you don't need to show 24 hours on social, but you can show 5 minutes out of your day. This goes back to the list you created. You can create 5 minutes of personal content with items from your "I would share" online list. Personal posts are more engaging. If you want to build a community of followers, it helps if they can connect with you on an emotional level. This is why personal posts tend to be more popular than promotional or educational ones.
Showing your goofy and private side also helps to build trust. When you post something personal (e.g., how much you love the new restaurant down the street), people can tell whether or not it's true based on how genuine your voice sounds - just be honest.
#3 Being real and personal can be scary, but it can also pay off in the end.
Being real and personal can be scary, but it can also pay off in the end. When you're on social media, you're exposed to people who have positive and negative things to say. If someone is being negative online, they are most likely just insecure about their own lives.
People always find it easier to leave mean comments when they can hide behind a keyboard, but no one would come up to you in the grocery store telling you that your jacket is ugly. While mean comments are inappropriate and hurtful, remember that these people are insecure and envy you in reality.
For the most part, people are way more concerned with themselves and pay less attention to the small details when looking at others. Most people can't even tell the difference between the content you worked on for hours vs. minutes. Or that dancing reel you made but felt super silly doing and were afraid to post? If it's not engaging, people will pass by it without thinking about your lame dance moves. It can be so easy to overthink things when we're putting ourselves out there, but at the end of the day, it's only a big deal to you.
#4 Progress
Focus on progress, not perfection. Start small and expand your personal content.For example, my strategy for constantly showing glimpses of my life online that I feel comfortable with is by uploading at least 3-4 personal pieces.
You could upload four Instagram stories or two stories and a reel. Also, when you show up on IG stories, you don't always need to show your face or talk to the camera. A picture of your morning brew, mid-day snack, or dinner are also great!
Start by dipping your feet in the water before diving in from the cliff. You decide the pace of how much and how fast you want to share personal information with your audience.
Conclusion
The next time you want to share your personal life and share what's going on, think about these tips.
Putting yourself out there can help make it easier for others to connect with you on social media and show them how much fun it is to be open about yourself!